What is customer service? In the Philippines, it’s a euphemism for crap.
How often have you called customer hotlines? I’ve called a number (no pun intended) of these so called customer hotlines, (Somebody should actually do a random study on all of them. Just to see how pathetic customer service is in this country), and I’ve come up with a list of top 10 annoyances -
1. Press 1234567890 for option 1234567890
How many digits must you press before you hear a live, human voice at the other end of the line?
2. We will attend to your call shortly, we are just handling one million customers at the moment.
Do you count the minutes you have to wait before a human actually answers?
3. Cheap waiting melodies.
I won’t give that statement any more dignity by describing it further.
4. This is MXYPLDTWKE speaking, how may I help you.
I make it a point to get the name of the person I am talking to, he’s not a ghost right? Even ghosts have a name. Even pets have names. Give me a break.
5. Recording conversations.
Boon and a bane. Ever heard of Anti-Wire Tapping law? On the flip side, your recorded conversation is the only proof you hold on to if you want to elevate your case.
6. The phrase “We understand your concern, but…”
Mr./Ms. Customer Service rep, if you really understood my concern, maybe you can think of a solution instead?
7. Even worse phrase, “Sorry for the inconvenience”
The word sorry is now officially a cliche, a hackneyed phrase that’s going to bleed your ears dry and leave your patience thin. Sorry. Sorry! Sorry! Are your ears bleeding yet?
8. They will return your call – with a Missed Call!
Globe is notorious for that. I encountered this twice. Let me share this with you, when I glanced at my mobile once, I saw a “missed call” notification and a number on my screen. I said, who could this be? I set the phone on my table, immediately, my phone lits up for about 2 seconds. It’s another missed call with the same number.
The number starts with a 7, and I pondered about it. I concluded it was Globe because I had filed a complaint with them earlier. Pissed at their pathetic way of calling back their customers, I called up their customer hotline. So yada yada, blah blah with the CSR, then this statement irked me.
“Sir, it’s indicated here that they tried to contact you but you were not answering.”
Come again?
9. The excuse “Sir, sorry but we cannot call the other department. Please redial.”
I’ve got four letters for you – PLDT. I’ve got one reason for you – OUTSOURCING!
10. When you are the one thinking of a solution for the CSR.
Shaking your head yet?
Companies in the Philippines can afford to provide crappy customer service purely because of two reasons – a monopolized industry or an oligopoly. If you had lousy telecoms service from one provider, who do you run to? Do you even want to switch providers? Your answer is the generic answer that most of our compatriots will give.
“All of these companies offer basically the same products. We have only a handful of choices. If I choose the smaller company, they might have an inefficient (insert product like DSL connection, mobile phone signal, landline service, etc).”
Anybody here have a landline with Eastern Telecom?
In short, you just have no choice. You’re stuck with them. Like a noose around our necks.
Fortunately, some smart companies (not the telco) do provide good service – but that’s only when there is stiff competition. But they are so few you can count the fingers of a single palm to sum them all up. One of them is Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Unlike the other international brand name coffee shops most people patronize, they have a warmer customer service staff.
It’s quite funny that most companies forget that food outlets are generally 50% service oriented (the other half being the food or crap they serve on your plate). Retail outlets are also 50% service oriented. But is it the company’s faulty policies? Or just lousy pay their staff receive? Let’s be realistic. If the person doesn’t like his or her job, it shows in their faces.
Ifind myself patronizing stores that treat customers well. That’s the obvious. But I rarely get that treatment from big stores. You’ll often get that in small stores that pocket the remaining streets in the country that is beyond the lights of big malls.
Talking about customer service is a multi-faceted topic. There’s just too much to talk about, and lots more grievances and pot shots one would like to take.
In the end, customer service in the Philippines is spelled L-I-P S-E-R-V-I-C-E.
Even the lip service is served sans a smile.
