The Three As

Once in a while, my mind wanders off and comes up with quotations and phrases all on its own. No, it’s not about day dreaming. More often than not, it’s because a friend encounters a problem and I have to say something intelligent or inspirational. Perhaps I have a gift of wit although for some who either don’t have a sense of humor – or patience – don’t appreciate it or just say I’m corny.

Witever.

Sometime a short time ago, I gave one of my mind blowing advices (or so I believe) to a friend who was undergoing a relationship problem. Often the discussion now is over YM because I find it more convenient to “talk” using my fingers than using my mouth – especially when I’m in front of my computer writing (happens to be always). This is the case even though Sun Cellular can be equally convenient.

From the deepest recesses of my mind, I said that whenever there is a problem in any relationship it is brought about usually by miscommunication (actually more like missed communication) or just plain incompatibility. Since lovers are blind (I think) these “incompatibilities” are often not discussed. Perhaps that’s why in divorces, “irreconcilable differences” is often cited.

So what can be done when there is this “incompatibility”?

You can do one of three things. And cursing your bitter half is not one of them.

At that time, I told my friend that you can either avoid (discussing it),  adjust (to the person), or accept (the other person). It’s not a progression but each is an act that is individual from the rest.

If you choose to avoid, then you risk facing the problem everytime you see your bitter half. If you seek to adjust, you make your bitter half feel better but you feel bitter. If you choose to accept, then both of you agree to meet halfway and perhaps everybody can be happy.

On hindsight, the three a’s can also apply to problems you encounter in life. When faced with a problem, you can either avoid, adjust, or accept. It’s not a general rule, but perhaps, it can be food for thought.

Until my next post.